Ponderous petting

Title: The Wellness of snow

Title: The Green Lagoon and Reptiles

Title: The Half Mann

Title: The Dragon year

Title: Emo land

Art in General: Rambling about art in general. I was at my gallery job today, I went in there not expecting much from anything. I was kind of reading this book about Networking, and it was very insightful Business book, having nothing to do with art, but it really is worth reading.

This phony looking guy named Jeffery Gitmore writes it, and it had my head nodding at places, giving me a better clue to get stuff in America. I guess the rules change all the time here in this country, and I just needed some clue to help me out with my life. It pretty much made me think that you really got to make the right connections, and you have to do it in a way that won't be desperate. I tend to be a drooling dog about everything, from relationships to jobs, and Art related things, and he was saying in the book that you got to be their friends first, take it easy about what you want out of them and slowly and gradually get to the point. I know that being so direct doesn't help too much, and I have been doing that, so I am glad to know that even in the business world you have to treat it like you are making friends in college.

I was good at connecting with people at college, and it was probably because I was just making friends. Now that I have an agenda, it's pretty hard to connect with people. They know that I am selling them stuff, or talking to them because of an Agenda, so it's hard to connect. He was saying that listening to their stories, and being more interested in what they do, what they were about was more important. I am saying the same shit over and over again, but I know I have been fucking up.

My mind is up in the clouds, I can't think clearly now a days. I have too much stuff that I want to do and accomplish that nothing seams to be working. I am spread too thin, and running around like a headless chicken. I told about my condition of my life to this guy who works at the gallery with me. We both agree that the gallery which we are employed at is run down kind of, and without structure. His name is Jesse, and he has been to Iraq and New Orleans, and he told me some good stories which were inspiring. It seamed that he had more of his act together and he was a artist too, but we was directing his art sales to places that made sense and was doing a good job at it and was making good sales. I been meeting a lot of people who seam to be getting it with art, and who are only one step ahead of me, so it makes me think that maybe I am closer than what I think is my dream. I really wanted to make my living off of my art work, I didn't want to work for no one. As I go through with this life in America, I have learned that no matter what you do, you are going to have to serve somebody, and there is no escaping that. All I have to do is more paintings, and bigger ones, and get in to bigger galleries, and places where woman in their 30's or 40's would hang out at. It seamed that Jesse was at the place where I wanted to be at, just living off his work, and the only thing that I don't have that he had was just more go go ness, and willingness, guts to do whatever it takes to make that dream come true, and I looked at my self and thought, where the hell did my guts go? Did I leave it at the chines restaurant? The mall?

I been a damn wussy with this art thing. All I had to do was have more willingness and guts to go out there and meet the right people, and express whatever I had to express. I been hitting small time, at the clubs and start up galleries, Yoga studio's and video shops. Who buys art there? I don't think anyone is looking for art at that kind of places.

I know what I got to do, I just got to go get it.